Tuesday, January 7, 2020

The Bachelor Recap | Week One

Woahhh, we're here! The Bach is back and it's PILOT PETEEEEE-yay! I'm so excited for his journey. Grab a coffee or a snack...cause this is a LONG one-it was a three hour ep! 

Waxing girl-meh, not into it. 
Hannah Anne? the model-She has beautiful blue eyes...her family seems real into. I feel like she'll go far. 
Tammy-isn't wowing me off the get
The nurse (I'm doing stellar at grabbing the names...)-awe, her story is sweet. I like her.
Kelley-she's cute
Madison-a bball girl-again beautiful blue eyes. is that his type-dark hair, blue eyes? (I'm out-ha!)
Maurissa-what is her skin care routine? I need it ASAP. 

First limo:
Alayah or something, ugh; gam wrote him a letter...that's v sweet. 
Sydney; oh dissing Hannah, she's cute tho. He liked her dress
Hannah Ann; she's v cute and pure looking if that makes sense-I KNEW he'd like her.
Sarah; I could see them as a couple, based on looks
Lauren; okay, girlfriend with the jumpsuit, I see you. She's gorgeous
Victoria P (the nurse); happy dance, awe he is really embracing it. 

Second limo:
Mykenna; umm I have nothing to say
Maurissa; pinky promise
Kelsey; v pretty
Eunice; angel wings-flight attendant (took me 3 tries to spell)
shit I missed one
Megan; another flight attendant
Madison; paper airplane, v cute and unique entrance
Tammy; screened him
Shiann; barf bag-now I'm just writing things about them
Courtney; rode in on the little airplane, he loved it. I liked that it gave me time to take a bite of my built bar
Kiarra; was in a suitcase...yikes
Lexi; he lovessss the car and her already...he was into it
Deandra; windmill
Payton; just yelling 4 times at him
Jasmine; says 4 times in a different language 
Kylie; condoms
pussy cat girl; I have no words
Victoria F; she looks like someone from the Disney Channel, she has  a dry sense of humor
brought a cow; she was cute-Ashley P maybe? ugh..
Savannah; blindfolded him, she is very pretty....omgggggg THEY KISSEDDDDDD!
Kelley; wait, he knows her. they did a dance...oh gosh, okay, front runner. He was HOPING for her.
Alexa; like the dot
Avonlea; there's too many girls
Natasha; pretty

Third limo:
HANNAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The girls are literally running around trying to see what's happening. She is back to give him what he gave to her when they started their journey. I think that's so sweet. 

Okay, now the cocktail party is starting. He is addressing that Hannah was there, that he was in love with her, and she returned his wings (his wings of love). Now he can give the wings to one of them. 
He's been sitting with some girls, but nothings stood out so far. First impression rose came in and the claws start to show...dayummm. 

Kissing Hannah Ann, I told you he liked her. Called her his lucky charm...I will say that I feel like she may be a front runner, but may turn out to be like a Demi (remember when she was just trying to fight everyone?) Okay, now he's making out with Tammy...while being handcuffed. Gosh, he's going for it. Mykenna interrupted with the airplanes, so HG came back with that big airplane and then waited while they made out...yikes. Natasha, it's not for you. 

Hannah Ann just swooped in for more time...told ya, that she was going to ruffle feathers. Man, am I on my game or what? Oop, and then she did it again-third times a charm. Kissing again. Shiann pulls Hannah Ann aside to say "yo, that shits not cool" and Hannah Ann is all "go get your mans, girl". 

I don't understand the girls that don't get time. Like hop the eff in there! Get your man. 

Victoria F will not stop crying...I need her to go home. Like please, send her home. Ohhh, Peter likes him some Kelley. I think she's getting the rose. 

OHHH, damn, okay my second choice got it. TARGET ON HER BACK NOW tho. Hannah Ann, sorry girl. (I need to insert here that my dad is watching in the living room and is yelling out to me questions or his thoughts.."HOW MANY GIRLS STAY TONIGHT?" "SHE'S PRETTY, BUT ANNOYING") 

Rose Ceremony: 
Victoria P
Alaha -you know I spelt that wrong
Victoria F

First Group Date: 
Hannah Ann
Victoria F & P

I feel like all I'm doing is writing out their names, but okay now we can get down to the real shiz. It's a flying date. Oof, it's a math date? Wtf. I'd be out real quick. He's sitting next to HA (I have to abbreviate her name now), he is SO into her you guys. That spinny game from the fair is the next part, I would barf in a second! Victoria P conquered her fear and threw up, so there's that. Top Gun moment and an obstacle course, cause it's not the Bach w/out one!

So Kelley cheats and wins...Shiann cries cause she took too long to get dressed...and Tammy (the fighter, I remember I took notes) will probably kick her ass. Can I just say my dream date takes place in white tees? Like we don't have to be flying in a plane watching the sunset, but I just want us to be in white tees. Back to the show, Kelley sits down and Tammy jumps on her about the cheating. Peter could've said "yo, you cheated" but he didn't so. 

I feel like I should keep track of who he kisses, will that be telling? Who knows, but I feel like it could mean something in the long run. OH IS HE GETTING ROSE? Nope, he stole flowers from outside for her...that's really sweet. Oh and he is kissing her...this is Victoria P who threw up. 
Kelley got the date rose and then Peter spilled the tea that this is where they first met. But the best part...HE UP AND LEFT RIGHT AFTER. Pilot Pete is a savage.

One on One; with Madison
She's very pretty (Hannah Ann and her are v similar in looks to me). HE TOOK HER HOME. WTF. Omg this is so special, oh gosh. All this guy wants is a love like his parents have...how stinking sweet. Surprise, surprise that she caught the bouquet...so predictable. 
Madison talking about her family and what she's looking for reminds me of when Peter first met Hannah...watch out for her, she's going to be around for a whileeeee, kids. 

Group date:
okay, I dropped the ball...I missed all of their names and I can't rewind anymore on my live tv for some reason. I'm sorry, but really who cares right? Hannah is showing up and she's crying. 
Hannah comes and spills the tea we already knew, but then tells them that they need to share a story about sex in front of a live audience. It's her birthday? How much does ABC pay her for appearances? Is she wearing three separate rings on that finger or is it one ring? I have questions...

This is a whirlwind you guys. I feel like we are watching a couple that broke up have a hash out fight when one of them comes to pick up their stuff after. Awe, this poor guy...he loved her so much. Does anyone remember there is a group of girls out there that he is on a date with? 

TBC. they hit us with the TBC. 

That was one heck of a first episode, we had a cow, tons of planes; of the real and paper variety, dranks, and lots and lots of tears. Idk about you, but I am SO here for this season. Let's chat in the comments about who you think will win Peter's heart

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