Friday, February 7, 2020

The Bachelor Recap | week five Wednesday night

We back night Chile. Still unsure WHY WE NEEDED 5 HOURS THIS WEEK? But here we are, so leggo.

It picks up in another cat fight about "needing time" before the rose ceremony where there was no cocktail party. 

One on One: with Hannah Ann (which I will only refer to her as HA moving forward)

OH NO, stop it. I hateeee when they run into a "random local couple" to chat with. I hate this so much, cringe city. The trolly is a very cool way to see the city, nice touch there. Peter is bring up the age thing-HA is 23, she hasn't been in love before. Yikes, flag? 

Now they're on the dinner part of the date and she's trying to be deep, but it's lacking. She's talking about's some of her work.

She was in a 3 year relationship, but wasn't in love? Were they in 8th grade? Her answers are VERYYYY pageant to me. She repeats the question, the conversation isn't there. Peter just got up and is now questioning the "deep connection". He thinks HA is trying to be perfect all the time. HA came to find him crying. 

She's starting to fall in love with him...she just told him. I bet he went to get the rose. FREAKING SURPRISE SURPRISE. He is talking all muffled. This is fake AF to me. 

Group date:

Victoria P
Mykenna-who is heartbroken she didn't get a one on one.

A second date to Victoria F when the group date card was brought out. It said "I feel like we didn't get a fair shot" 
*this date card has sent Mykenna into a TAIL SPIN. Kelsey is consoling her, guys. Like hello, you know it's bad. She wants to leave. She's also a v fake crier. 

Sooooo the date is filming a telenovela and boy oh boy, these girls and esp Peter should NOT quit their day jobs. OOOF that was bad. It ends with him picking Mykenna, so now she's not upset, I guess. 

Everyone is feeling really good about the day and then all go to the cocktail party feeling a good vibe...this will take a turn. 

Kelsey is the first alone time. They are talking about how they've come out of the bad times and he said he has real feelings for her. Then guess what happened...they kissed. No surprise. 

Victoria P is up next (I had her as a front runner, but she has had a rough little go as of late). She's sitting on his lap and she's being awkotaco. She asked him if he's feeling okay about talking about heavy stuff with her about after Alayah. He is a coward and it didn't seem like he was going to bring it up? He keeps kissing his hand so awkwardly. Peter is saying he knows her heart is in the right place, but he thinks that she is more secure in their relationship than he is. She's telling him to dump her and he said "idk if I see you as my wife". HOLY SHIT. She isn't taking it well. She said "I'm concerned for you" and she's OUT. SHE SAID "THIS IS THE LAST CONVO WE'LL EVER HAVE." She's asking for a car or a cab. Holy guacmoleeee. He wants to walk her out, she's like don't. He's following her..this is whacky. There goes my bracket for this week. The girls look shocked.

Okay, tea time, girls. Mykenna packed her bags before going on the group date and now she's saying "this was the best day ever". She was saying that acting made her feel like she was really herself today, like huh? She's only 22 and sometimes it shows. Kelsey is defending her. Tammy is popping off as always. Tammy is involved in all of the drama. Cut to Madison and Peter kissing and they hear the how rude. Mykenna's jumpsuit is CUTE. Tammy's dress is gross. 

Madison gets the rose! And there are some unhappy campers.

One on One: Victoria F

He's very into her...more random talking to people for their insight. Seems like he is a little more into her than she is him. She is trying to tell him that she is in her head about the other girls. He is telling VF that if she doesn't see herself in it for the long haul then to let him know now. This date feels like little timely to me. Let's see how the night goes. 

It's a little hard to take him seriously with the bandaid on this noggin. But they're at dinner and it's time for a tough convo. Peter said that he asked her on the second one on one cause he just wanted to spend time with her and see if it's what he thinks it is. Victoria will be an influencer after this-she already won the Revolve challenge. She just had to down wine to be able to chat about the walls she put up and keeps saying "I don't know". I really feel like she's panicking cause he is really in it with her and she isn't. THIS HAS TAKEN A TURN. He asked if she wants to be here and she got pissed. 

OMG, he is trying to talk to her and she's said "I get it Peter" and now she's "getting sick" in the bathroom saying that she's not sure why she's doing this to him. And that she's not ready. I told you guys. Well I just told you, I didn't see this coming. 

Okay VF is back...and said "it's not all good". Are we losing another, Victoria? She said she likes him, but she's def being bratty. HE IS INTO HERRRR you guys. He basically was like I'm here and in this, she accepts the rose. And I think we have a front runner. BUT IS SHE A RUNNER? In the words of Victoria..."I don't know". He just told her "please no more pushing me away." Now, is he really into her cause of the chase?

Two on One: with Tammy and Mykenna

*first time girls have been pissed about another date card. This one says "meet me at the cocktail party before everyone else. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH." Peter is a soccer dad, ya'll. He's turning this car around. With that being cannot tell me the producers didn't put him up to this. 

Mykenna all of a sudden has a slight accent...maybe that's her mad accent. Okay, they stomp in together. They both should just keep their mouths shut. But NOPE, Mykenna literally started talking right when I hit that period. Peter loves to say "gimme a hug" when he sees them. 

Okay, he wants them to spill the tea. Oh right when I thought he was going to do it the right way and talk to them at the same freaking time, he pulls Tammy aside for "her side". She thinks Mykenna isn't here for the right reasons. Mykenna is trying to create hashtags for her brand (here for that...). Tammy let him know about the bag packing. Tammy is telling him that it's getting serious for her, but like huh? You've had no time with him all you do is cause shit. She thinks they are meant to be. 

Mykenna's turn. She's talking about how Tammy is a joy sucker. Peter is letting Mykenna know he knows about the bag packing and how that confuses him. Oh he dropped the hashtags. Mykenna said "that's twisting the truth", but she's #speakingherdamntruth #damntruth which hashtag we running with, sis?  She said their love is worth it...SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HIM? Ohhh #lieslieslies that's good, it's like #byebyebye which we know I'm here for, always. 

I hope he doesn't give either a rose cause they both bug me. Oh wait, he's doing what I want? Peterrrr, you angel. Thank you! Oh nope, never mind. He let Tammy go. He's letting Mykenna stay for now cause he trusts Mykenna. 

Okay, starting the cocktail party. I really love that Natasha always asks him how he is doing. That shows that she is kind. 

Rose Ceremony:

Kelsey (his voice cracked)
Kelley (his voice kinda cracked again)

Sydney & Mykenna are out! Mykenna did a whole third person outro about being madly in love with herself.

Squad is headed to Peru-6 left. And HA cries with her whole stayyy tuned,

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